The lost social skill of a swiping generation
We’ve been talking a lot about connection lately— especially when it comes to young people. There’s a wonderful paradox at play: millennials and Gen Z are the most plugged-in, yet arguably the least connected generations. Sometimes it feels like we’re part of an evolving social experiment, and the results are flooding in in real time.
The intermediated digital world, the lack of IRL interactions, and the plethora of digital connection points have all had an impact on the way young people connect. None perhaps more meaningfully than dating and forging intimate relationships.
These days of course that means the ‘apps’. Not a choice, but more a necessity.
If you’re single and young, then apps are a natural part of your life.
This is what this piece from NBC “Gen Z's biggest dating hurdle? They don't know how to flirt” hits on. The article speaks to how dating apps have done a couple of pretty significant things to dating;
They’ve stripped away the subtle signals that once hinted at attraction. Flirting has been flattened into binary swipes.
They allow people to present a ‘best-of’ version of themselves. Great for the profile, but less great when reality doesn’t match or keep up.
Flirting has existed throughout human history as a form of social interaction signaling interest, desire, or attraction. In ancient Egypt and Greece, it was often theatrical, woven into poetry, dance, and myth. Medieval Europe romanticised it through chivalry and courtly love. In the 18th century, fans and glances became tools of subtle seduction.
The 20th century saw cinema and pop culture redefine flirting with winks, lines, and body language. And, today, it lives in texts, emojis, and digital swipes. Flirting has always adapted to culture and technology, but at its core, it’s a playful, risky dance of connection and human chemistry that’s not quite translating or making the jump from screen to bar stool.
Some are even turning to self-styled ‘flirt coaches’, who are gleefully decoding this lost art for a grateful generation. At the end of the day, as one coach Benjamin Camras puts it: “Flirting is about sharing your energy with someone—communicating and sharing something of yourself authentically.”
Anyway – where we’ve landed is that the connection isn’t gone — it’s just lost its way a bit. And with it, powerful social skills like flirting. And maybe that’s why it feels like we’re all in the middle of—one big, unintentional social experiment.
One where generations raised on hyperconnectivity are having to re-learn some of the most ancient, human ways of connecting. And like any good experiment, that starts with trial, error, and a little courage to put your real self out there.
